Author Archive

GTA IV Assassinates Wii’s Dominance »

This week’s dramatic release of the latest installment of the violent Grand Theft Auto video game series foreshadows tough times for Nintendo in the future. The game is expected to gross over $400 million in its first week as part of a simultaneous Xbox 360 and PS3 release, but Nintendo Wii players have been left [...]

A Justification of Future US Prosperity, Maybe »

On this cold, dreary, and rainy Monday I couldn’t shield away some unpatriotic pessimism. The US is in really bad shape. If the US was a person, it would have worse financial standing than the homeless guys I pass on State Street because while the homeless guys may be broke (+ $0), our government owes [...]

World in Disarray on Saturday: Photoshop Disasters »

It appears that some companies let any “artist” with a bootleg copy of Photoshop become their graphic designer. Problem: Having Photoshop doesn’t mean you don’t suck at using it. Exhibit A…

Interpretation 1. The poor girl has a serious skin disease, and “Curves” should have given the model an outfit that wouldn’t expose her disease so [...]

Porn Sales Bellwether of Pending Recession: The X-Rated Economic Analysis »

Like food and gasoline, pornography has long been understood as an inelastic product. Despite changes in consumer income and poor economic situations, the demand for porn is unrelenting. However, of late this trend has gone limp.
According to Variety, “DVD porn is down between 10% and 30%” and “many DVD emporiums like the Movie Galleries in [...]

A Eulogy for eBay »

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of eBay, the internet’s 24-hour garage sale. Oh eBay, we recall the countless times we bought cheap electronics (junk), trinkets (junk) and novelties (junk) from your pages in the ’90’s. We remember with affection taking “bathroom breaks” from class to meet you in secret [...]

Students for Concealed Weapons Conceal Their Better Judgment »

As a college student, I am used to being lectured by angry people. From the liberal teacher who forcefully taught my class the benefits of universal healthcare to the Bible-waving zealots proclaiming my sins from the street corners, the college campus is no shorter on opinions than it is on textbooks. But even these incessant [...]

In-Flight Cellphone Test Drive Ignores Scientific and Social Roadblocks »

Although cellphones may interfere with crucial navigational equipment, the European Union has cleared in-flight calls for takeoff.
“Business travelers, who want to stay connected and networked, are also the airlines’ most profitable group of consumers” (1). The pressure to keep these customers satisfied has led airlines like Air France to begin test programs allowing passengers to [...]